Potty Humour

So we’ve just passed the year and a half mark and I’ve come to the point where many of my stores from Canada have been depleted.  I have less than a half of a 20kg sack of white sugar and I’m almost at the bottom of my second sack of flour - or is it the third?  I’ve replaced the chocolate chip stash three times over and I’ve raided Bulk Barn a couple of times during my multiple trips back to Ottawa this past year.  Thankfully we have a shipping allocation of 50kg per year on post to keep me (whoops! us, I meant us) “restocked”.  The 2013 allocation has already been used up; in fact, I’m (urgh, we are) at -3 lbs for remaining weight allocation for the calendar year.  In order to ensure that I bring back all of the creature comforts that make living abroad bearable, I’ve also figured out a system that works.  I pack my carry on suitcase and then stow it in a piece of luggage that I check on the way to Canada so that I can fill the now empty luggage with “stuff I can’t live without” for the return trip and still have the carry on piece to transport my clothes, etc.  There are ways to work the system and I’m not above doing all that I can in order to get what I want.  Hey, a girl needs her maple syrup.

Before posting out in the summer of 2011, we were advised by many people that if there was one thing to make sure I brought a ton of, it was toilet paper.  This seemed to be sound advice and I took it to heart, purchasing eight, 40 roll packages of Cottonelle.  By my calculations that should have easily lasted two people at least two years.

Have I ever mentioned that math is not one of my strong suits? 

I now find myself 19 months into a 36 month posting (we extended our original 2 year stay by an extra year) with only 40 precious rolls of soft, multi-ply toilet paper left.  Panic, as you can imagine, is setting in. 

It isn’t that toilet paper is not available or that the quality isn’t potentially comparable, but what I’d like to know is how I’m supposed to figure that out?!!!  I mean, with all of the options out there, how is a girl meant to choose?  Do I buy one of every kind that looks like a potential candidate?  Do I take a chance and buy a brand that looks both reasonable and economical?  Do I buy the expensive, imported brand because I know what I am going to get even though I won’t be able to afford a Spring vacation as a result?  Frankly, I’m frightened and I’ll tell you why or rather ... I’ll show you why.

Below is a sample of what is available, bearing in mind that everything is available...for a price.

industrial grade recycled...  I'm giving this a miss

Green or yellow toilet paper?  YIKES

Raspberry scented?!!!!

Peach or green apple I can almost understand but chamomile? To put your ... to sleep?

Loony Tunes ACTIVE?  What is active?  Nevermind, I don't want to know.

Raspberry, peach or chamomile-scented.

As soft as a squirrel's tail.  I'm not entirely convinced that a squirrel's tail is appropriate toilet paper.

Kleenex, now there is a brand I recognize!  Strawberry and chamomile? *sigh*

50% more rolls = 6 more rolls for a total of 12 rolls.  At least they are soft and strong.

Just what exactly is "Air System Technology" and why is it that I would want to use it?

One sheet is never enough.  I'm not even tempted to find out.  At least you can flush this toilet paper.

ooooh...4 ply

So I ask you...which brand would you choose?

I went with this one as a test.  We'll see how it turns out "in the end".  I still have time to try a few others in case this doesn't quite work out.